What to do?

I wasn't too far off but I'm not sure this is what I want... until I know or get too frustrated I have to stay with my heart. As soon as I say I'm done I'm back apologizing for being done or getting frustrated. Really, how long can we last like this? All these feelings I feel and they don't go away, don't disappear, and don't stop. Each day I'm smiling and even happier than before and I know, I'm in love. I'm in love and lust. It's funny how at a certain point you're like "this is the one," only to realize in a later relationship, "no, this is the one." Which leads me to believe we have many loves in our life but only one love of a lifetime... the one that hits you and lingers on forever.
I'd love someone who walks through the door and greets me with a kiss.I don't want to have to ask, I want a lover who wants to kiss me every chance they get. Is it want or need? I want someone to hold, someone who wants to crawl beside me and talk or just lay there. Not someone who uses my dog as a shield or excuse not to be close. I read between the lines. If the want and desire is there it'll  happen. Sometimes, the dogs gotta' go. Respect.
I honestly don't know what I'm doing or who I'm trying to fool, myself. I can't be affectionate and all that she wants without anything physical... I don't know how long I can last. It's like saying "I'm in love with you but..." There's big but, a husband. I know this can't go anywhere unless she accepts the marriage is over and moves on or she finds it in her to do both. Her husband is the companion and I'm her lover... I am already with these feelings surrounding us both. Or am I a good escape? Somehow, a part of me believes that's a huge part for her, to escape here. Not so much hide out because I believe she knows that it's over and they're just friends, living together, going through the motions of being married, and taking care of the kids.
I can't tear myself away from her. If we're not together she's at my hand still. I wondered today how we can sit and talk and then when she leaves there's still more... it's like together but not and everything just comes so smoothly and natural and I feel myself smiling at the very thought of her. If she could just let things happen naturally. Going backwards is like having a taste of chocolate and then told you can't have all the chocolate but you can see it there within your reach.
How can I do this and make it work? How can I be being fair to myself knowing she doesn't want me, this relationship, and still be "present" for her. All day long we're in constant contact, no matter how far away she is, so what do I do. Go until I get so frustrated it kills something in me?
I was honest with a bit of laughter. The lavish lifestyle is too hard to give up on one hand and the kids on the other. I see vows but when the kids start noticing that the marriage isn't what it should be I believe it's time. I will not push anything because I do love her that much. I am content and happy now as long as I can get her lips. I hate asking for it though.... and if I didn't, it would never happen. I don't think she looks at me the same, with lust in her eyes. My kisses don't flush her face anymore. I fear she is just afraid to tell me the truth because she doesn't want to lose me. Time, give it time. Give it days. After April 6th's show I'm thinking about taking a break depending on how things go here this week. I love her but I must love myself more.