...
I’m falling… and there’s no arms to catch me… I try taking chances… each chance I take I want to become more of a recluse…driving myself to the heights of unobtainable… reaching for those that are untouchable… I’m falling… I fight it more and more… recognizable I’d rather stay in love where I’m at… in me… catching, reaching, I’m there… taking a chance without taking a plunge… keeping to myself… my thoughts… feelings… no room to be broken… when falling I’m falling apart giving up my self… in darkness you might find me… in late night denial… lost in thoughts of why not… why… and all that I am not… to be fallen for.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Mar 27, 20 aphrodisiac, denial, want, need, feel it.
Live high… live rightchiously… live life like it’s an aphrodisiac… it is… what you want… not always what you need… but living high…. A mile it is… it will be… all a dream to me… the curves… the hands… the curiosity… once sustained by one… stained by others instead… how happy she must be… to pass the buck aside… real feelings…. Nothing there to hide… my aphrodisiac was her… is… and I comply… all she is entrances me to others alike… I know what I want… a drink… a taste of her wine… that which is unknown… unshown… forgotten… but one sip of her… I’m craving it all again… the wonder… the feel… the fate… the waiting… the kiss… all I want I turn away… that which I can’t have… I ask to stay… my own abuse… the turning away… but aroused I can not deny… what’s real… what’s stuck between my thighs… that throbbing… that ache… that denial.. the shred of doubt touches you… you want to feel it… but just can’t…. Touch it.
Mar 31, 2009 JAZZed up...
All in all my aphrodisiac is you, feeding my mind, touching my body, getting to know every inch, stimulating me as you explore, the more you tease me, I ache for more, in every dream, every dance you took, all the times you gave me that look, all my body took you in, pinch me, wake me up, rattle me a few, but still in a dream, my aphrodisiac is you.
Unreachable, untouchable, unobtainable, unachievable, underneath I still want you.
When I thought I could hide, I hide within riddles of words that could mean anything, could be almost anyone, but sometimes being stuck in the maze is better than finding your way out.
Thought by thought, or song by song, I never thought Jazz to be so sexy and provocative, putting my mind in places it shouldn’t go, but I dare, I turn around at the first sign, if I’m followed tan I know better, if I get that look I know to keep going, it says follow me, I follow only to be lost in the maze said above, and then wonder, what happens if we collide in that maze, the unreachable reached after almost giving up, what was unobtainable now seems relative, but still I find it’s perfect, where I like to hide.
The maze of aMazement in my mind.
Oh lord, who will convert me… then I look and it’s really “who will comfort me.”
Where be my head?
If I felt I could fall and not fall into pieces I don’t know if I’d fall for you. If I felt I was worthy of you or is it more that I am good for you. If I felt I could look you in the eye and tell you I’m falling only to be
judged by our kiss after I’d look up. If.
II. "We"
It wasn't very long after the first sign of temptation that another arose even after you thought and said it wouldn't. Or was it couldn't? The relationship was complicated by the threads that intertwined us together. It was you that kept reminding me "we" couldn't happen. Now, I think you were telling yourself that to keep from wanting more.
There could be no more than my lips lingering on your skin but never to touch your mouth. My hands wandering with such restraint, never traveling to the heat of you. I know how you fought it squirming beneath my touch but never pulling away. Fighting to move closer to where my hand strokes your inner thigh occassionally just circling like I would inside you. I want you wanting. Anticipating.
Now, drunken phone calls reveal the you I know. Which is the real you? The one who ignores my gestures and feeble attempts to get you? The one who takes me to an alley, gets close enough for me to make a move, then backs away pretending nothing happened? The one who lays in bed beside me in my arms trusting my hands to wander?
The "We" to be left undefined.
There could be no more than my lips lingering on your skin but never to touch your mouth. My hands wandering with such restraint, never traveling to the heat of you. I know how you fought it squirming beneath my touch but never pulling away. Fighting to move closer to where my hand strokes your inner thigh occassionally just circling like I would inside you. I want you wanting. Anticipating.
Now, drunken phone calls reveal the you I know. Which is the real you? The one who ignores my gestures and feeble attempts to get you? The one who takes me to an alley, gets close enough for me to make a move, then backs away pretending nothing happened? The one who lays in bed beside me in my arms trusting my hands to wander?
The "We" to be left undefined.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
I. The Beginning
I had this itch inside that wanted to write and instead of making a fool out of myself in some note... I'll do it here, in the open.
I just want to let my mind drift...
I. The Beginning
It was many nights ago I realized I loved you. Our friendship had evolved into something you dared not think of. Though many factors force themselves between us I'm still compelled to cross that line. However fearful the path may be I shall tread fearlessly towards love.
The night that captured your beauty beneath the moonlight. You relentlessly sat down on my lap and told me secrets I thought I only knew. Beneath my lips is the softness of your forehead. You don't look up, but stare at the moon, you know if you look up to me it's giving into my lips. You can tell me what's in the depths of your heart sacred but can't conjure the courage to simply look up.
My body heat rises and something stirs inside me, the hunger for you. I keep it contained as I always have, never acting on it. My heart pounds and the yearning inside me wants to push you, wants to take advantage of the unknown, wants to give in and make a move. I don't.
The many nights spent curled on my lap talking, cuddling, sleeping, or thinking what you might want to do... want to try. I still don't make my move, something inside tells me you're not ready. Will you ever be?
It's not just me, it's the way our eyes meet and what's said at a glance that doesn't need words. You know I'll wait for you. Within your words I know what lay behind, within your eyes, all that can be said is done when you look at me. I see you, I really see you, and not what you camoflouge from others. You reveal yourself to me in the ways you know how.
Your heart under such a big lock the key to opening the door is difficult to gain access to. The door to you is closed but gradually opening as I figure you out. I know you, this is no game, loving you comes at a price, but it's a price I'm willing to pay.
I lose my mind in your direction upon sight of you. My tongue presses my lips and moistens them before I bite my bottom lip. I can see your eyes caught looking mesmerized by my lips and this act of luring you in. However hard I try your battle within is stronger.
In my mind I play it out. I trace my lips across your neck softly kissing it. I can hear your breathing getting quicker and there's no pulling away. My tongue tastes tiny pieces of you making my way slowly up to your lips. The time has come, your lips are parted, eyes closed, I know your waiting...
I just want to let my mind drift...
I. The Beginning
It was many nights ago I realized I loved you. Our friendship had evolved into something you dared not think of. Though many factors force themselves between us I'm still compelled to cross that line. However fearful the path may be I shall tread fearlessly towards love.
The night that captured your beauty beneath the moonlight. You relentlessly sat down on my lap and told me secrets I thought I only knew. Beneath my lips is the softness of your forehead. You don't look up, but stare at the moon, you know if you look up to me it's giving into my lips. You can tell me what's in the depths of your heart sacred but can't conjure the courage to simply look up.
My body heat rises and something stirs inside me, the hunger for you. I keep it contained as I always have, never acting on it. My heart pounds and the yearning inside me wants to push you, wants to take advantage of the unknown, wants to give in and make a move. I don't.
The many nights spent curled on my lap talking, cuddling, sleeping, or thinking what you might want to do... want to try. I still don't make my move, something inside tells me you're not ready. Will you ever be?
It's not just me, it's the way our eyes meet and what's said at a glance that doesn't need words. You know I'll wait for you. Within your words I know what lay behind, within your eyes, all that can be said is done when you look at me. I see you, I really see you, and not what you camoflouge from others. You reveal yourself to me in the ways you know how.
Your heart under such a big lock the key to opening the door is difficult to gain access to. The door to you is closed but gradually opening as I figure you out. I know you, this is no game, loving you comes at a price, but it's a price I'm willing to pay.
I lose my mind in your direction upon sight of you. My tongue presses my lips and moistens them before I bite my bottom lip. I can see your eyes caught looking mesmerized by my lips and this act of luring you in. However hard I try your battle within is stronger.
In my mind I play it out. I trace my lips across your neck softly kissing it. I can hear your breathing getting quicker and there's no pulling away. My tongue tastes tiny pieces of you making my way slowly up to your lips. The time has come, your lips are parted, eyes closed, I know your waiting...
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