Last call: Boundaries, Crushes, and Bears oh my...:

Setting boundaries has never been an easy task for me. One, because some people get pissed off about things and I hate upsetting people so I give in. When I feel like saying "I want this part of my life not to be with you," I can't. How do you tread lightly and still be blunt?

Yes, as a friend they shouldn't be mad or upset but when I get in trouble after, "why didn't you invite me?" I'm caught at a loss for words that need to be said but can't find their way out.

More and more this crush grows intriguing to me. However straight she might be her beauty lifts me up to this level of a higher state of being. I feel better getting to know more of her, but then can't know or write enough in one note.

This is a crush I thought and still think is considered a "safe" crush because it will go no where and I expect nothing more. There are other crushes like those you just want to make out with. Crushes that actually grow into more. And crushes that are simply that, thinking someones cute and they make you all giddy.

Today was nice after 1pm. I was finally alone All day until 7:30. I actually laid back and took a nap. What I thought was going to be just relaxing turned into a long much needed nap. My mind kept drifting from me, thinking of this and that. /Only really one constant all day thought and I keep it secret, holding it for only myself to know and continue being all that I am and all that I can be.

I feel like I'm at a pause in my life. Waiting on the VA to get my license. Waiting for school so I can actually drive myself... or on good days it takes like 15 minutes to get to the college by chair. I feel I want to do more. I want to start painting, not that my artwork would ever be worth anything to anyone except me, my family, and some friends. Still, to try is the key. Like trying the slide guitar. I really need a good slide and then some lessons, basic lessons, because from the basics I'll have to come up with my own way of playing.

While on pause I'm going out and meeting some amazing people. Amazing in a way I can't explain that my other "friends" have never shown me. It's actually being a friend and not just someone I know on facebook. Sadly, that's how a lot have become. The glue is gone.

Life is a story yet to be told and I plan on adding a few more chapters to mine. What comes next??

Last smoke: Anticipation.

My eyes are open. My lips quiver. My mouth moistens. My body anticipates. My mind tells me no. My heart tells me go. My hands beckon you over. My arms wrap around you. My temperature rises. My pulse races. My eyes close and I am Here.

I close my eyes and see your smile, remember your touch, feel your softness, imagine your lips on mine and my heart open and ready to take you in. I anticipate my days and nights with you. I choose you. I'll take a chance... once again.

Last smoke: Aware!

I see a lot of what others don't simply because of my lifestyle. My near death experiences, 5 times, have made me more aware of my surroundings. What we find by some lonesome butterfly, God's watching?! I reflect on the things I see and not always do I follow through with my thoughts but the good intention was there. Some people need to wake up and look at what surrounds them and they might find out more about themselves and trust in what's around them.

Last smoke: Awake

I'm hearing and reading about all this wisdom people write... only to get to know the person and wonder how they came up with "that" the way they are. The point in life we see ourselves at is different than how others perceive us. When we talk of taking things for granted, talk of love, talk of friends, talk a bunch of b.s. when you find out. The oxymoronic version of people and who they want themselves to be perceived like.

Some people I'd like to shake awake and tell them "look at all you have," and they'll actually see it. I'd love to trade places with some people for various reasons... my aides can feel my side out, my friends can find out how inhibiting this can be at times. I feel awful when my care or anything gets in the way of my "friend" time. Friends is the definition I'm searching for. I never knew I had 433 friends out there! So many levels to be on. I just want one that's awake on my level.

Hunger

I try to find the hunger but still go into starvation

I look around with no where to feast

I look around and see you hidden

The host to my devouration

I see you and my mouth waters

You touch me and I feel my body tremble

I anticipate your move and move closer

One kiss and I want to engulf you

I take you in like a 100 proof vodka

You burn going down and make me feel all dizzy

I drink you down and pour another dose

One last shot into being intoxicated by you

I feel you fulfill me in ways I didn't know

My hunger decreased by our body flow

I'm craving more only to take my time to taste

You're full of flavor and life, it feeds me.

Do you believe that what you put out into the Universe you'll get returned?

Do you believe that what you put out into the Universe you'll get returned?

Answer here

What's your worst guilty pleasure?

Smoking!!

Ask me anything

What's the craziest thing you've done in the past year?

stayed out in the rain with my power chair because i didn't want to miss a concert!

Ask me anything

Would you ever be a stripper?

Yupp I would... stripper doesn't mean you're out there having sex for money.

Ask me anything

What are your thoughts on sexting? Yay or nay?

hell to the yeah... but just realize what you're doing and trust who you're sexting!

Ask me anything

What's one thing you're really passionate about?

writing, any shape or form ass long as i get a little relief!

Ask me anything