Another Saturday night at home, I’m beginning to really hate the point my life is at right now. I’d be lying if I denied wanting to just give up, but I don’t or haven’t yet nor plan on it. It would be nice to get back into staying up but I don’t know what that would take… no offense, but one is someone who can understand me, speaks English as first language, as a caregiver so I can direct my care and not go without stretching and putting the proper ointments on. Should I have to teach what top and bottom is?
Coleen’s cat’s horny again… he’s like his momma, trust me. She drives me nuts because I try touching her and she moves away but she runs around topless and in her lil daisey duke undies w/ half her ass sticking out… cute. Ha, she’ll love me writing about her ass… now, we both know I could write more incriminating things! Things are going better more than worse even though e’ll have our little spat, walk out the room, and talk like it was what it was, a lil crabby morning love spat… now gimme my coffee bitch! Ha! Should go coffee, cigarette, then argue always because I don’t want to be without my coffee let alone cigaretttttes! Whichever “friend” fwd’s these journals to her won’t fwd this one because there’s nothing to say, poor thing you!! I doubt they’re getting sent or she could say who and not say “oh I deleted it already… “ Off this page will be a link to a private journal for that but don’t be offended when you don’t get the access. I even know she’ll be late tonight, intuition and oh well… toke up, toke up! I figure fuck it, take ALL the pain away. I’m just sitting here thinking, damn it would be great to go out, we need that too. Listening to Blue October makes me just wanna go dance, I love them the more I play the cd. The first time I was like umm nah, then we put it in my big cd player and I love it! C’s right, deep shit, I feel myself relate to a lot of the words or thinking “yupp.”
Next weekend me and C will go out Friday, Sat’s The Fray (which we got front row tix this morning to them at red rocks,) and Sunday C wants to get up 8am for the parade, that means no going out dancing Saturday and who knows how long I can be up after that… but I’ve never seen the parade here either. I guess we’ll see. Hate to spend the day in bed too but dealing with the pain is going to be hard. The other day the pain made me actually nauseous and all I did was lay flat and I was fine. Sucks when it’s that bad and is treated like it’s nothing by GD VA! Well, there’s my venting on the VA!! Ugh, here’s hoping for a good night and NONE OF THIS GETS TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT!
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