Hello Universe

Ever try putting something out there into the Universe and after a while wonder who the Universe is talking to because  it sure isn't you? I've tried meditating, just tried thinking about it out there. I've done a visionboard and tried talking to the Angels.... perhaps nobody's listening right now. Am I sending the wrong message? 

Meditating's hard, I don't think I can do it because  I don't think meditating is supposed to be full of thoughts. When I lie awake at night I just think about everything and everyone and the goals I might have. Certain goals seem harder to obtain unless I run into some money. 

I'd love to go to school but that takes money because the VA won't pay for me saying I'm unable to work which is a lie because there's certain jobs I can  do out  there... just as I'm typing now. The VA has disqualified me on everything I've tried  applying for, it's discouraging. I don't qualify for a service dog, I  gave up on a new chair/van though it would be nice.. I won't be without wheels over the Summer though. 

I put out there into the Universe to answer me, one way or another... I think it'll be with a kick in the ass but prefer the later. Is love so hard to find? School?/ These minor things... single friends? All of my  friends are now coupled off except 2. I see that as  a problem... I go out alone most always not even planning to meet anyone there so that can't be telling anyone anything except I'm independantly single. Right?!

1 met a few people off the dating website but none kept my interest... not even to take the friendship closer and I guess that's me, I like closer. I thought maybe with one but if I had to be honest with myself I know it was more that she paid attention... she would actually be friend material. I just know her type hearing all the bs she puts up with from someone 12 years younger. Sometimes I wonder if people just settle, they don't feel they deserve better, or don't feel they can do better, or they want to fix people? 

I loved my friends outlook on my love life... it's not that I'm afraid of commitment or don't want it it's that I won't settle. That's how it should be too.