I feel a little messed up though nobody can solve the BS but me. I feel I’ve no time to do anything and when I can it’s that time of day when I pass the fuck out because I honestly can’t fall asleep most nights till 2 at least. I feel at time’s I can’t be alone, yet need to be but C can go in her room and close the door at will. I don’t know what the heck happened last night because I felt like I was the one so out of the loop and so me, I just leave, where I guess by talking to someone (gorgeous lol) I should’ve stayed in there and not let anything get to me. If it weren’t for a chosen few who crave attention and drama, younger ones, than it’d be a great release as I’ve met many I can simply talk and relate to because me, I don’t relate to most my age… my temper and throwing shit will forever be there! I just say, they shouldn’t show that childish behavior on tv either, ha. Then I flew my older sis in from San Jose to go with my mom and sis and her sisters and their daughters to Branson, Missouri. Next time, maybe just maybe my mom’ll think of me but I doubt it. It was fine here but I think my sister that’s Coleen’s age and her would make a far better couple plus she knows my sister better… why does this anger me? Because colleen’s not my girlfriend therefore my family should just be that. Many times I’ve gone without picking up my sister’s call because why, I already know from coleen or don’t care to be an “ok tell nik” or “oops slipped out.” been a problem for a while and this time I actually just said something and ignored the two for a bit… not that they noticed at all, like my mom said. I want to build an armor wall around my heart and leave it. I no longer believe there is that perfect someone but rather someone’S because hey, nothing lasts forever…. Though the dinosaurs might return! Ha! I am ever so happy about my tan, I can no longer call coleen black or she can call my neopolitan. At least I can say I feel like I look good and cute but need a damn haircut bad! Skaterdoo! And gotta get fresh lemon juice for my hair… blonde! Other good news… my teacher has now said because most all are getting A’s in class (all 6/7 of us) said if all our work is completed by end of unit 10- next weeks, we’ll only have her survey to fill out for our final. I really like how this teacher goes about things, I feel I get more out of it because I find I pay closer attention to detail and enjoy the set up. Ah, and my brit bytch just isn’t working like it should, I’m hoping because of the interference. Anyone want to come hook up a dvd player? A cd player too? Ha. My new ones are still out there and thankfully mom said she’ll hook them up when she gets back. More accessible! 400 disc dvd holder, enough? I could use 3 of the 300 cd player! Music and movies, a collection. And now I’m off….. Toke up!
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