Life's questions yet to be answered..

My life is not easy no matter what you might see. I make my sacrifices just to be able to go out at night. A little way of staying sane... Though I'll fully admit I'm the crazy one here! Unless, you, the reader, are further than me. Love can make you do crazy shit as well as think crazy shit. 

I've this thing, it's a bedtime at 7:30 pm unless arranged or I stay up all night. There's times I just stay up because I don't want a curfew. There's finally something being done about showers... I'm tired of bath's I want a shower! You'd think it would be simple but my blood pressure IN the shower is dangerous. Perhaps a splash of cold water at that point would help from passing out. 

I'm still in search of a contractor to remodel my kitchen but nobody seems to follow through on doing it. It could've been done this Summer so I could've had Winter parties but not anymore. I'd like one more here but I'm afraid of the weather and trying to save money for bills and my slide guitar that's waiting for me. 

I'm not involved with anyone anymore and I wonder if it's me. Could it be that I need another who is actually available? Would I even be attracted to them knowing they were? The question won't leave my mind now; "What do you want?" It's a good way to shut me up because I can't answer that right now. Then I go between want vs need. What do I need vs want? 

I used to be so content with my life. Don't get me wrong I'm happy and content in so many ways it confuses me and I have to think about what I'd do different if I wasn't happy. School? Then I find an excuse not to go. Maybe online, one class at a time. I've a few questions before me I can't answer... But that doesn't mean I'm not happy, I'm just me.