Keep on...

I'm loving the New I'm With Her CD, it is simply Heavenly. It helps the two singers are just loving and caring and cute as heck too. Winner! Tomorrow nights cd release should be fun. I'm trying to drag my sister with but I bet by the night she'll be a lame ball. She needs to go out...
Of course it's hard going out when you don't feel good about yourself, I should know. I shit my pants today. 36 years old and I can't control even that. Independence shot I am diminished to someone else sticking their finger up my ass to get it done... and like today, it didn't get all done. I feel I disappointed my sister because I had to get back in bed and at 6:00 pm I just stayed there. People come from 9am-1pm during the  week and 7am-11am weekends... plus they come back at 8pm every night  to put me to bed unless I arrange differently... but that costs me $40 if I go later. My care depresses me right now. I was going to say "my life," but my life doesn't depress me and try my emotions, my care does. I don't have quality care right now and almost feel gross. I need a shower like nobody's business. I might feel, look, and smell, a whole lot betta'.
I'm hanging in there as trying as it is... when you get yelled at for getting frustrated but I can only deal with stupidity so much. One remote, one display, one switch, one joystick, and one button... she couldn't find the button! "The only button there above the joystick.." "I can't find it." This is why I can't quit smoking. One button, all there flipping is on their, one button, just above the joystick, only one joystick. I got flustered at that point. 
I can breathe now but this CNA said she'd been doing this field for 16 yrs or more. She's dealt with chairs before. Ignorance vs stupidity. I just smoke and smoke too much. As much as I can handle I fake it but gradually decline and slip into being a hermit. I am strong or so I tell myself and keep on even if I don't feel it. All I can do without giving up. Keep on.