Last call: Boundaries, Crushes, and Bears oh my...:

Setting boundaries has never been an easy task for me. One, because some people get pissed off about things and I hate upsetting people so I give in. When I feel like saying "I want this part of my life not to be with you," I can't. How do you tread lightly and still be blunt?

Yes, as a friend they shouldn't be mad or upset but when I get in trouble after, "why didn't you invite me?" I'm caught at a loss for words that need to be said but can't find their way out.

More and more this crush grows intriguing to me. However straight she might be her beauty lifts me up to this level of a higher state of being. I feel better getting to know more of her, but then can't know or write enough in one note.

This is a crush I thought and still think is considered a "safe" crush because it will go no where and I expect nothing more. There are other crushes like those you just want to make out with. Crushes that actually grow into more. And crushes that are simply that, thinking someones cute and they make you all giddy.

Today was nice after 1pm. I was finally alone All day until 7:30. I actually laid back and took a nap. What I thought was going to be just relaxing turned into a long much needed nap. My mind kept drifting from me, thinking of this and that. /Only really one constant all day thought and I keep it secret, holding it for only myself to know and continue being all that I am and all that I can be.

I feel like I'm at a pause in my life. Waiting on the VA to get my license. Waiting for school so I can actually drive myself... or on good days it takes like 15 minutes to get to the college by chair. I feel I want to do more. I want to start painting, not that my artwork would ever be worth anything to anyone except me, my family, and some friends. Still, to try is the key. Like trying the slide guitar. I really need a good slide and then some lessons, basic lessons, because from the basics I'll have to come up with my own way of playing.

While on pause I'm going out and meeting some amazing people. Amazing in a way I can't explain that my other "friends" have never shown me. It's actually being a friend and not just someone I know on facebook. Sadly, that's how a lot have become. The glue is gone.

Life is a story yet to be told and I plan on adding a few more chapters to mine. What comes next??