nikki smith's MySpace Blog | Here We Are Now

nikki smith's MySpace Blog Here We Are Now: "

One more smoke…. But I’m a slow typer!

Luckily my American Spirits (ultra light,) take at least 10 min to smoke. I share too.
I sat outside with my mom’s friends I’ve know for like 20 yrs today. How “chill” they are with their red wine and a joint. Content with the fountain going and sunshine. Mom stayed inside hiding with her “boyfriend” but she brought me food so I’m all good. It was a great day.

Getting back from the Palo Alto VA was heaven but I am now in love with the weather there. Crime is way high for me but it’s an “upscale” VA. Driving was a joke… what we did could’ve and should’ve been done in 2 days. Now I just need to make sure he puts all the luxuries of gps, warning sounds when you’re going to hit another car, and Bluetooth! My van might already have it and I don’t know. The system is way cool but I dread giving up my van for a month or 2 to install everything then do 20-30 hrs of training on it. It’ll be fun when it’s all done. Freedom! Independence! Sober cab!

I keep trying to get in touch with “her” and I try chalking it up to she’s busy and It’s just her, her personality. Once I write a “let go” letter she’ll call… just to reel me back in. ho do you stop a one sided love affair? I think I’m over her and then hearing about her, seeing her, talking to her… I’m instantly drawn to all I Am in love with. I could say this for someone else but there’s no love affair… I wish there was. Rid me of this 14 yr old lonely love triangle.

In dreams there is safety… I hope."